go.

It’s a day when I don’t rush to finish my breakfast and I don’t feel like time has been my friend. Coffee still has its own smell of melancholy and daily newspaper has emptiness on its cover. There is a blank page on my mind and I am sitting in the front of the computer already for a silent while, my thoughts flutter around your stunning sound but my body rather stays still. I am wondering…You have never let me down. My expectations though but not me, oh pardon for being so selfish…for longing to have you just for myself. Desiring us being together without anyone else in your thoughts, but I can’t have something that doesn’t belong to anyone and you are free…

I wish I could forget your eye look before you said to me goodbye.

But lately…I rather feel down than miss that bittersweet echo of yours. I rather cry inside than kill my inner love and care for you. I rather sound silly and childish than keep my pride and turn over.

I beg you to be happy, because you are so special.

Agnes. 

unseen are eternal.

Your patience is killing me gently and thousands of thoughts run through my mind. That night I put my very best red lipstick and noteworthy high heels imprisoned my legs. I wished to be seen as a young, sensible woman what I modestly consider myself and for you to take the guidance seducing me with your charming manners.

Meanwhile a merriment, dances and lovely youngsters enjoying themselves, I was leaned against the wall holding my knees and looking cheerfulness passing me by. I just couldn’t get closer to you and it made me suffer highly. Every time you were with someone else my heart were filled with a tarry fluid. I felt it so overpowering that I went outside for the sweet poison of a careless being alone. My inner senses yelled for the understanding, but no one could better help me as an acceptance, you can’t always get what you want but you might someday get what you need.

A cold air froze my solitude and I blew it away within the smoke which went straight to the heaven.

God bless you, darling.

Agnes.